You may have asked yourself this question before; Does the perfect relationship truly exist?
Well, I’m here to tell you that there is no such thing as the perfect relationship. That’s merely an illusion. Relationships take work, hard work but just because something isn’t perfect doesn’t mean it can’t be healthy.
So what does a healthy relationship mean exactly? Having a healthy relationship means being transparent with your partner in order to build trust, having mutual respect for one another, and maintaining open and honest communication.
Healthy relationships maintain a balance of power collaboration where partners maintain a level of mutual respect for one another’s independence.
Relationships are an important part of ones life and human connections are essential to our well-being and overall mental health. It is important to remember there is no such thing as a perfect relationship and that all relationships consist of both healthy and less healthy traits. Both partners have to put in work and maintain connection and bring a willingness to work through resolvable conflict and manage perpetual conflict. Remember that every individual has different needs but if you are wanting to check if your relationship is healthy ask yourself these questions:
1. Do you trust one another?
2. Do you respect each other, do you support one another?
3. Are you open and honest with one another?
4. Do you both maintain your own individual identity?
5. Can you talk openly about your feelings, hopes, dreams, and fears?
6. Do you feel and express love and affection?
7. Do you feel an equality within the relationship?
Dr. John Gottman—The Science of Love
Dr. John Gottman is a world-renowned relationship expert who has dedicated his career to understanding healthy versus unhealthy relationships on a scientific level. He spent many years measuring the behavior, perception, and physiology of couples to understand the meaning of love. From these years of research he then developed equations for love and determine the mathematical dynamics of love. His science can predict with a 90% accuracy whether relationships will last and he describes the new Love Equations as a combination of calm, trust, and commitment.
*Check out this TED Talk to hear more about what Dr. John Gottman has to say on the topic:
8 important elements to a HEALTHY but never PERFECT relationship:
- Trust one another wholeheartedly.
- Respect each other always.
- Fully commit to the relationship even on the not so good days.
- Communicate often and well to avoid miscommunication.
- Be kind to one another even during conflict.
- Support one another’s goals and dreams.
- Make decisions as a couple to maintain a sense of connectedness.
- Find ways to connect and enjoy each other’s company.
May the Force be with you,
Angelina Taylor, MSPSY, MAMFT
Marriage and Family Therapist
http://www.akconfluence.com/
907. 313.4433 Ext. 106
