Dr. Gottman an American psychologist and professor of psychology who’s 40+ years of experience has centered on relationship stability through relationship research analyses says that gratitude should be built into a relationship to allow for couples to connect and be grateful at the same time.
Gottman developed rituals of connection solely centered on gratitude. Being intentional about gratitude is an important element of a healthy relationship. Creating rituals of connection centered on gratitude allows for you to seek out things which you are thankful for about your partner and relationship, ultimately making the relationship stronger.
Building a culture of appreciation encompasses utilizing the things you know about your partner to show them that you truly care about them and their happiness. When we think positive we feel more positive.
So how can you build a culture of appreciation and show your partner gratitude? Gottman recommends expressing affection, giving compliments, and asking your partner how you can make them feel more appreciated and loved.
In today’s stressful world it can be difficult to seek out things to be grateful for, but in reality, the more grateful we are, the more reasons we find to be grateful. It really is about the small things that count and building a culture of often appreciation is all about noticing what your partner is doing right and catching your partner in the act of doing good stuff.
“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.” – Cynthia Ozick
Rituals of Gratitude Ideas
- Be Humble
- Be Present
- Intentionally say thank you more often
- End everyday with an expression of gratitude
- NOTICE-THINK-FEEL-DO. Notice good things, think about ways you are grateful, feel the gratitude, and do by expressing your gratitude.
The Importance of saying “thank you”
Saying “thank you” may seem like a little thing, but it can mean a lot to your partner and strengthen your relationship. It is so important within a relationship to be grateful for your partner and recognize the small ways your partner shows their appreciation.
Learn more about what Gottman has to say about saying “thank you” here: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1991589444367581
May the Force be with you,
Angelina Taylor, MSPsy, MAMFT
Marriage and Family Therapist
http://www.akconfluence.com/
- 313.4433 Ext. 106
