What are attachment styles and why should we care?
Attachment styles are essentially the framework for understanding how an individual bonds emotionally and engages with others.
There are four main types of attachment styles; secure, ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized.
Often couples experience relationship issues and are unaware that some of those issues could be rooted in their attachment styles. By learning your attachment style you can work to build a stronger sense of self and healthier connections with others. Attachment styles provide insight into human behavior and aid in understanding ones thoughts and emotions, as well as build healthy and more fulfilling relationships.
Attachment styles play a large role in how we regulate our own emotions and our ability to connect with others and that’s super important when choosing your partner! This makes learning your attachment style a vital part of understanding not only yourself but your relationships too.
So how do attachment styles influence your relationship?
Attachment styles influence your relationship by impacting how a couple communicates, forms attachments to one another, navigates challenging times throughout their relationship, and contributes to the overall stability of the relationship.
When a couple understands their attachment styles they can work to understand their own behavior, understand their partners behavior, build stronger bonds, and improve conflict management.
Find out more about each attachment style as you read on and don’t forget to hop over to The Attachment Project and find out your attachment style with a short quiz.
The Different Attachment Styles
Secure Attachment: Formed by healthy relationships, secure attachments encompass strong emotional regulation, higher self-esteem, social skills, empathy, security, and validation.
Ambivalent Attachment: Also known as “anxious attachment”, formed by an insecure and codependent relationship with a lack of consistency and reassurance.
Avoidant Attachment: Formed by a relationship that is distant and unreliable. Avoidant attachment styles often feel the need to be fiercely independent because they don’t feel as if they can rely on or trust their partner.
Disorganized Attachment: Formed by a combination of both “ambivalent” and “avoidant” attachments, disorganized attachments are most displayed by individuals who have experienced abuse, neglect, or trauma. Because of this, their relationships are often more unpredictable and dysregulated than others.
The Attachment Project
The Attachment Project was founded by Jock Gordan as a way to raise awareness about attachment theory. A tool to give insights on human attachment, as well as alternative approaches to healing. The Attachment Project aims to explore the science of human attachments by defining attachment, aiding individual’s in learning more about their attachment style, emotional regulation, and maladaptive schemas. Once learning your attachment style, The Attachment Project explores the biodynamic of attachment and bonding, healthy boundaries, energy management, and emotional alchemy. The goal of understanding your attachment style is to be able to understand ones thoughts and emotions, as well as build healthy and fulfilling relationships.
Find out your attachment style by taking the attachment quiz from The Attachment Project here: https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/
May the Force be with you,
Angelina Taylor, MSPsy, MAMFT
Marriage and Family Therapist
http://www.akconfluence.com/ * 313.4433 Ext. 106
