Welcome to 2025!
As we embrace the new year, many of us still feel that spark of motivation to achieve the goals we set in December. However, studies show that approximately 80% of those resolutions begin to fade away by February. Why do so many goals fizzle out? They frequently lack alignment with our core values, are neither realistic nor specific enough, overlook the broader context, or lack measurable milestones. Too often, we fall into the trap of setting ourselves up for disappointment with unrealistic expectations.
The first step towards success is acknowledging that we are already enough, just as we
are.
While there is always room for growth, it doesn’t diminish our inherent worth. Many New Year’s goals stem from a lack of self-acceptance; instead, we can approach our ambitions from a place of love—for ourselves and our partners. Beyond individual aspirations, the beginning of a new year is the perfect opportunity to enrich your relationships. Research suggests that secure attachments enhance emotional, mental and physical well-being. Whether you set goals independently or as a couple, the strategies outlined in the second part of this newsletter will empower you to set effective, meaningful goals. If you and your partner decide to embark on this journey together, prioritize discussions around accountability. Consider weekly check-ins, shared calendars or fun incentives to stay on track. This is not just about achieving goals; it’s about deepening your connection and creating shared meaning!
Tips for Effective Goal-Setting
- Effective goals are S.M.A.R.T.—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, & Time-Bound
- Align goals with personal values—Consider what your top 5 core values are and build goals around them, focusing on building an authentic sense of self.
- Big goals can be intimidating—Identify smaller, actionable steps that will get you there.
- How will you measure progress?—Consider how you will recognize that you have reached key milestones and provide yourself a reward. This will keep you consistently motivated!
- Plan to check in on your goals regularly—after a week, a month, 6 months, and a year. Identify and
hone the vision you are working towards.
Examples of S.M.A.R.T. Relationship Goals
- Schedule a weekly date. Download the Gottman Card Decks app and use the conversation starters while you wait for your meal at a restaurant.
- Screen-free time. Decide to put away phones and turn off the T.V. at meal times and connect about the events of the day instead.
- Plan a vacation. In addition to excitement, this also requires cooperation and planning together.
- Read books together. Take turns reading out loud together or read the same book and discuss your
thoughts and feelings about it. - Volunteer together. Decide where and how often—this can be a meaningful shared experience!
Jillian Thony
Marriage and Family Therapy Intern
akconfluence.com
Call/text 907. 313.4433
