Attitude Adjustment

Relationships will naturally ebb and flow over time and some of the initial traits that drew you toward your partner can potentially become perceived as potential problematic relationship behaviors or even a major disconnect. If you are unable to view your relationship as a journey of transitions a progression of growth, then you may start to see the natural progression of your relationship as a problematic relationship cycle, whether real or perceived.

When you run into this, you must ask yourself, is it really about changing your partner or is it about adjusting your attitude? Your partner is never going to be everything you envision them to be or do everything right. When you are feeling as if your partner is not meeting your expectations, ask yourself, what is the emotional need coming up for you and how is your ATTITUDE impacting the relationship?

When trying to adjust your attitude toward your partner and relationship it might be helpful to understand interpretations of behaviors that are impacting how you interact with your partner on a daily basis.

Here is a list of problematic behaviors that will definitely impact your relationship and one or both partners attitude toward one another:

1. It’s deliberate
2. The way my partner does [fill in the blank] means they don’t love me
3. Feeing unappreciated
4. Feeling controlled
5. A lack of intimacy
6. A lack of fairness
7. Personality conflict
8. Criticism

When you enter into a relationship you naturally bring your personal values, expectations, personality traits, and your overall attitude into the relationship. A relationship is about connecting separate individuals who are bringing their “own” selves into the relationship. It is important to realize relationship expectations are pieces from ones history that naturally gravitate into all of our relationships.

It is important to continue to evolve and grow within your relationship and to consider how your relationship is impacted by your attitude. When you make a conscious effort to shift the potential interpretations of problematic behaviors placed on the previous list, whether real or perceived it can start to make a noticeable difference in your attitude and within your relationship.

If you only focus on the potential interpretations of problematic behaviors you are choosing to focus more on what you’re not getting from your relationship opposed to all of the things your partner is providing within the relationship.

The key is to change your attitude, acknowledging that numerous aspects of life are out of your control. Managing your attitude is entirely within your control! and As you tune in and understand your authentic self you can learn to control your attitude and not let your attitude control you.

“Our capacity to make peace with another person and with the world, depends very much on our capacity to make peace with ourselves.” 
Thich Nhat Hanh

How a Positive Attitude Can Improve Your Relationships:
By just changing your attitude you can strengthen your relationship. It is important to learn techniques for creating and maintaining a positive attitude when engaging with our partner and others. It is time to stop trying to change your partner and all the dimensions of your relationship, it’s time to change your attitude instead.

Learn ways to build trust, improve communication, increase happiness, satisfaction and intimacy within your relationship by creating a positive attitude here: