In the beginning of your relationship it is easy to find bliss in the “honeymoon” stage when things are new, exciting and you’re both putting your best foot forward. But, the “honeymoon” stage is impossible to sustain throughout the relationship. So what happens when the novelty starts to fade with love and desire needing intentional work?
Esther Perel, an expert on relationships and sexuality believes that desire fades when a person disconnects from themselves and becomes selfless. She says that it is impossible to switch on desire if we are not present to switch it on.
At times you might not feel “in love” with your partner and it is normal to lose the spark within the relationship over time, but the good news is you can get that spark back!
Getting the spark back will require intentional work and mindfulness, yet it’s important to remember that the relationship will naturally wax and wane over time. Couples start to get complacent over time and because of this, the relationship takes a back seat to all of the chaos that is life.
It is important to understand there is a difference between love and desire, to love is to have, to desire is to want. A healthy relationship requires both love and desire and in turn provides a safety and stability within the relationship that makes reigniting and maintaining that spark possible.
Making just a few small changes to the relationship can guide you towards that spark again.
How to bring that spark back into your relationship
Step #1 Focus on communication
Step #2 Have frequent date nights
Step #3 Practice gratitude for one another
Step #4 Make physical connection a priority
Step #5 Try new things with one another
Step #6 Incorporate more romantic gestures into the relationship
Step #7 Reminisce about the good times throughout your relationship
“This Is The Downfall To Every Relationship” | Esther Perel
Esther Perel talks about the important aspects of a successful relationship and how to avoid losing that newness and becoming complacent. The importance of communication and connection. The loss of affection, touch, cuddling, and all of the things that really connect couples physically beyond just sexually. The importance of asking yourself, what have I done lately to affirm the importance of my relationship?
Hear what Esther Perel has to say about successful relationships and how to keep them burring here:
May the Force be with you,
Angelina Taylor, MSPsy, MAMFT
Marriage and Family Therapist
http://www.akconfluence.com/
- 313.4433 Ext. 106
